Words and phrases people actually use over here - about 1% of people use the ‘Queen’s English’ when they talk here. Not all of them are common in some areas as certain slang is exclusive to certain regions and people of a particular generation. Say them confidently in a sentence, as if you use those words all the time, or else you’ll just sound weird…
’She’s been giving me aggro about it all week’
’Don’t get aggy, I fucking said I’d do it'
Used as an informal greeting, normally phrased as a question but without wanting an answer. Also used a lot in Australia.
ARSE OVER TIT
The same as ‘arse over elbow’. It means falling over.
‘He fell arse over tit’
BEST OF BRITISH
aka, ‘best of British luck’. It means ‘good luck’.
’Best of British to you'
Really good, amazing, hard to beat.
‘That pizza was blinding’.
Used in place of ‘very’ or ‘fucking’.
‘That was bloody lovely’
’Shut that bloody door’.
BOB’S YOUR UNCLE
Normally used at the end of sentences as if to say ‘there you go' or 'there we have it’. Pretty much the same as the French ‘voila’.
”To fix this I’ll just put this here… and bobs your uncle”
Just the British way of saying ‘bullshit’.
”You met the Queen ? Bollocks"
Very expensive or overpriced.
‘This meal cost a bomb’
Like ‘bloody’. Non-swearing alternative to ‘fuck' or 'shit’, usually used to express frustration or regret.
To include or put in.
‘I’ll just bung that in my purse’.
Very pleased or impressed with.
‘I was chuffed to bits with my exam results’.
Rubbish, no good.
’What a load of cobblers’.
COCK UP/COCKED UP
To mess up, fuck up, or ruin.
‘I made a real cock-up on the last question’
’I cocked up the varnish’
The best, stunning, really good.
‘It’s a cracking film’
’That girls cracking'
Stupid, illogical or unreasonable. Usually used to describe an idea or a person.
”Jumping off that would just be daft"
Expensive, costs a lot.
‘This phone bill is a bit dear’.
Stupid, slow on the uptake. Used to describe a person.
’She’s nice but she’s a bit dim'
Party, social function, event. Most commonly used to replace ‘party’.
”You going to their joint birthday do ?"
‘This job will be a doddle’.
Can’t be trusted, uncertain or unsure - can be used in a variety of contexts:
‘I think that curry was a bit dodgy’
’The clutch is a bit dodgy’
’Don’t buy from him, the guys a bit dodgy'
The same as ‘bees knees’. It means something really good.
‘This tea is the dogs bollocks’. You can also say ‘the bollocks' or 'the dogs’.
Our slang term for claiming benefits or welfare payments from the state.
”I lost my job so I’m on the dole at the moment"
Slang for arrested.
”You know she was dealing ? Well she got done for it"
DONE IN/DONE OVER
Beaten up or messed around.
”I really got done over on that building work”
”He got done in on his way home"
”Didn’t really have to seduce her, she was easy”
”I don’t care what we have for dinner, I’m easy"
To dither, waste time or fuss unnecessarily.
”Stop faffing and hurry up"
To want, lust after, be attracted to or feel like. Can be used in various contexts:
”I fancy a coffee”
”I think I might fancy my boss"
”My decorator is fit"
A small bet or gamble.
”I like to have a flutter on the horses now and again"
Desperate, in urgent need of. Not usually in an attractive way.
”I’m gagging for a drink”
”Sleep with him, he’s gagging for it"
To look around or take in a view.
”Let’s have a gander at this place"
GONE TO THE DOGS
Gone downhill, gotten worse.
‘That restaurant has really gone to the dogs’.
Slang for food.
Disappointed, upset, let down.
”He was gutted when his wife found out about his mistress"
Dangerous, strong, unbeatable.
”He fancies himself as a bit of a hard man"
HAVE A BUTCHERS
To look at, or try to work out.
’Let’s have a butchers at the menu’
HAVE A STAB AT
To give something a try.
’Let’s have a stab at moving this piano then’
HER MAJESTY’S PLEASURE
To go to prison - literally, to be detained in prison at her Majesty’s pleasure.
’He’s away at her Majesty’s pleasure’
HOW’S YOUR FATHER
Slang term for sex. Nobody under 60 really says this other than ironically.
’Went out back for a bit of how’s your father’
Moody, in a bad mood. Also can be used as another word for having and/or imitating sex.
'Don't bother her, she's got the hump about something'
Slang term for lucky.
”You jammy git"
Slang term for toilet.
”Just off to use the khazi"
Slang term for sleep.
”Only got an hours kip last night"
Tired, out of energy.
”I’m too knackered to cook tonight"
Slang for party or dance
”Come with us tonight, gonna be proper knee’s up"
Illness, sickness, usually flu.
”Don’t come near me, I’ve got the lurgy"
’Calm down mardy arse, I’ll just get you another'
Slang for girlfriend, wife, female partner.
MUSH (said like ‘push’ with an ‘m’)
Slang for both mouth and friend.
”Alright mush ?”
"Shut your mush"
MY OLD CHINA
Slang phrase for ‘old friend’, affectionate.
”How are you doing my old china ?"
Gullible, stupid, or a pushover.
”Don’t be a mug, if they cheated once then they’ll do it again"
”It’s not even cold outside you nancy boy"
Slang for steal.
NOT MY CUP OF TEA
Not to your liking, not your taste.
”I gave them a listen but they’re not my cup of tea"
Slang for head butt.
Slang phrase for the police/cops.
”Called the Old Bill on my neighbour last night"
Slang phrase for a persons mother.
Slang phrase for a persons boyfriend/husband/father.
Slang for talking about, mostly used when someone is talking shit.
”What are you on about ?"
ON YOUR BIKE
A more polite way of telling someone to fuck off.
Slang for ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I can’t answer’. Usually only used formally, although is sometimes used in everyday conversation.
Slang phrase for saying something has gone wrong, or hasn’t gone according to plan.
”We left in the end, it all went a bit pear shaped"
PIECE OF CAKE
Slang phrase for easy, simple, not a challenge.
Slang for steal.
Slang for drunk or angry.
”I am majorly pissed off at her”
"I was so pissed yesterday"
Something awful, or an awful attempt at something.
”His latest film is piss poor"
Something that isn’t very good. Also used as slang for £25.
’Can’t afford it, I’ve only got a pony’
’We went but it turned out to be fucking pony'
To get someone, to attract or try to attract someone. Generally means to sleep or mess around with.
”Out on the pull tonight”
"I pulled last night”
Weakling, pathetic, also another [usually derogatory] word for vagina.
"I haven’t got any pussy for ages"
'Don't be a pussy, go after him'
Slang term for pound [as in, the British currency]
”What can I get for three quid ?"
ROW (said like ‘cow’ with an r)
To argue or fight.
”They had a massive row this morning"
Lame, uncool, a bit pathetic.
’Why are you doing crosswords you sad bastard ?'
Chaotic, unorganized, a mess.
’Thought I’d look at their new website, it’s a shambles'
Intolerant, impatient or bad tempered.
’Don’t get shirty with me, I was just asking'
SIXES AND SEVENS
A mess, a jumble.
”Was going to go shopping but I’m all sixes and sevens today”
Poor, lacking money.
’Can’t make it tonight, I’m a bit skint'
To play truant or bunk off.
”Skived off work to watch the football”
Basically a way of saying that everything that can go wrong, will, or to describe an annoying coincidence or inconvenience. Usually used for things that have already happened.
”It’s sods law that I get called into work the one day of the month I had plans"
Stupid, gullible. Used to describe a person, most common in the North.
’Don’t be soft, of course horses can’t fly’.
To spend more money than you normally would, or spend a lot of money on something.
’I thought I’d splash out and get champagne instead of wine’
Slang for moody or bratty.
Stingy, out of order or cheap. Can be used to describe both a person and a situation.
'Don't be tight, just buy them'
'You were well tight on him just then'
'No holiday for me this year, money is a bit tight’
Slang for ‘thank you’.
TAKE THE PISS
To make fun of someone, to make a joke out of them.
'Best go check out the local talent then'
Goodbye, see you later. Informal, most common in the North.
Usually used to describe a woman as being good looking or attractive.
TWO FINGER SALUTE
To give someone the V’s, to swear at someone with your fingers.
Palms towards you means ‘two’ or ‘peace’, knuckles towards you it’s telling you to fuck off.
To ramble, or talk too much.
’I stopped listening after a while, she just waffled on and on and on'
Derogatory term for someone who is nasty, an asshole, a bit of a jerk.
”Don’t like him, he’s a wanker"
To moan or complain excessively, usually about something trivial.
’Stop whinging, you’re giving me a headache'
RHYMING SLANG - Nobody really uses this day to day but some words anyway:
TROUBLE AND STRIFE: WIFE
DOG AND BONE: PHONE
WHISTLE AND FLUTE: SUIT
CHINA PLATE: MATE
DICKORY DOCK: CLOCK
PIGS EAR: BEER
RABBIT AND PORK: TALK
DAFT AND BARMY: ARMY
ONE AND THE OTHER: BROTHER
GOOSE’S NECK: CHEQUE
BREAD AND BUTTER: GUTTER
LOAF OF BREAD: HEAD
BOTTLE OF SAUCE: HORSE
CREAM CRACKERED: KNACKERED
BEGGAR MY NEIGHBOUR: LABOUR